I think the challenge for us women who believe in the Biblical Christian roles is to normalize obedience as a Christian response. Because of the platitudes of Women’s Lib and because of the fears of domestic abuse, wifely obedience has taken on a very bad connotation. As women, the very idea that we should be submissive to a man is repugnant. I have seen a lot of writing in the past few decades that emphasize woman as partner, and is some senses this is true, but ultimately we have to realize the roles God ordained for us.
Wifely obedience is normal; to not obey is sin and it is rebellion against the role God created for us. I can’t get away from the model of Jesus and the Church as our ultimate model of what this type of obedience should look like. If a woman has a difficult time obeying the man God put in her life, how can she truly obey Jesus? I would tell that woman to pray that God will help her to obey her husband as she would Jesus.
It should be emphasized that a woman must choose to obey her husband. The husband can never force the woman to obey unless he chooses to abuse or intimidate her in some fashion (abuses will be discussed at a later date). A woman chooses to do so in order to achieve marital harmony, because it is a godly response, and there are many benefits to her doing so in that she has the protection and provision of her husband.
An unyielding wife brings contention and quarrel to her marriage if she does not choose obedience. While I personally can’t see that I would do this, particularly now that I have chosen this path, I know that I am human, I know that accepting someone else as decision-maker can be difficult, so I anticipate that this path is not without a lot of work.
I do want to emphasize that our submission to a husband does not mean we need to give up who we are as a person anymore than becoming a Christian does. Just as you would have God mold you into the person you want to be in Him, realize that wifely submission can be a molding as well. Pray for your husband as leader that he will help you to be a better Christian, a better wife.
Pamela Parizo © 2017