At least two of the verse that pertain to the submission of wives in the Bible state that submission should be “as unto the Lord” (Ephesians 5:28) or “as it is fit in the Lord” (Colossians 3:18). This helps to moderate the authority of the husband, so that wives understand their submission is based on Godly standards. Should the husband require the wife to obey in sinful things or things that would obstruct her relationship with God, she does not have to obey.
The Holy Ghost and the Bible are balancing factors in the marital relationship and help to keep them right from God’s perspective. It would be very easy for thing to become unbalanced without these two factors. The couple’s individual relationship with Jesus Christ as well as their unified relationship will keep things in their proper balance.
One should always ask oneself whether their conduct toward their spouse is measuring up to God’s standards and the Spirit of God. If not, there is room for abuses. An over-controlling husband or discontented wife can lead one away from the glorious relationship God has ordained for a man and woman.
Just a word here about abuse: a woman should never EVER have to endure abusive behavior from her husband and the Church should never condone it in the name of submission. If a woman feels her emotional, mental or physical being is in danger from her husband’s treatment, she should seek outside assistance. This doesn’t just impact husband and wives, as children can internalize the relationship dynamic of their parents and repeat the cycle, or find themselves abused by their father (or mother). Love is not abusive.
God’s intent for marriage is that it GLORIFY HIM. It is meant to bring joy, love and harmony to the home, not pain or heaviness. If the couple isn’t experiencing JOY AND LOVE, then there is something wrong in the relationship.
Pamela Parizo © 2017