I was thinking about what wifely submission is supposed to achieve–harmony in the home. A wife yielding to her husband with humility dissipates quarrels. The woman should consider her husband’s will as if it were her own. Jesus submitted His will to God. So in the same manner, a woman should consider her husband’s will as her own and yield to it. What unity that brings! Rather than a woman having to nag her husband to do things, she frees him to do the things he must. A body can only have one head. When the man is allowed to be the head, with the woman following, it brings harmony of movement.
Since I was a child, I had heard a lot about “the battle of the sexes”, that is, man and woman struggling for control. Woman doesn’t by nature want to be dominated by the man. She wants to be independent, free-thinking, able to move of her own accord. But this is not the way God designed things.
Women, we must face that we intended to be subordinate in roles. While God made us his equal in salvation, there can only be one leader in the relationship. It’s only in realizing this that we can be happy in making him our superior. We messed up in the garden. When we are married, we do need the man to be in charge. That doesn’t mean we don’t gain from it because we do. It brings us peace, less stress, emotional satisfaction. A man who is honored and respected will pour out his love on his wife. Think of how Jesus pours out His Spirit on the Church. What woman doesn’t want that kind of love? It is glorious!
I’ve been considering the obedience factor also—should a man just control his wife, lord it over her without sharing his vision with her? Of course not. The ideal would be that while the husband makes the decisions, he shares his vision with his wife. This would not only enhance her trust in him, but help her to maintain things in his absence. He doesn’t necessarily have to explain himself to her as much as to get her on board with his decisions and win her trust.