Having done an earlier post on the distinction between feminism and femininity, I thought I should write specifically about the attributes of femininity, not just in terms of our godly role, but what our feminine nature is, and how to enhance it. I think it’s important to embrace our innate femininity for a couple of reason. One, we were made feminine, so we should be who God made us to be. Two, to be attractive to our husband.
A good book to read is Fascinating Womanhood by Helen Andelin. While I do not embrace everything she has to say about femininity, I do think it helps to understand what the needs of our husbands are and how to meet those needs. Helen believed women should be childlike in their natures. I totally disagree with that philosophy. One woman who subscribes to the patriarchy said basically the same thing when she wrote that women don’t know what they want, as if all women are immature airheads who can’t think for themselves.
Despite our different manner of thinking and physical makeup, women are human beings, and we mature just like men do. In fact, in the formative years, women mature earlier than males do, both physically and emotionally. However, I do think women should rely on men more, since they are our leaders. That doesn’t make us weak. It makes us smarter to recognize that men are stronger in many ways. We should rely on his advice and opinions, as well as his greater physical strength.
Women are more empathetic in that we are natural listeners, we relate to people’s problems, we think more about how things relate to each other. That is because we have to be in order to keep our households going and raise our children. We are also more expressive of our emotions than men and tend to have larger vocabularies.
In our appearance, we have softer physiques, and we should do everything to enhance that soft quality, in our dress, our hair, our manners in order to set ourselves apart as being distinctly female. God gave us long hair for our glory, so let it grow! There is little as beautiful as long, glorious hair to make us look female. And women should dress as feminine as possible. Go soft. Imagine how your husband would feel if you met him at the door in the evening wearing a nice dress with your hair done. They did it in my mother’s time, and men always appreciated it.
In terms of submission, we are to be humble, obedient, yielding. The Bible says we are to have a meek (submissive) and quiet (peaceable) spirit. We should strive not to be contentious or quarrelsome with him, or disrespectful to his position. We also should show him tender loving affection. Men have difficulty expressing their emotion. Through our tenderness toward him, we draw love out of him.
So, to be feminine means we are:
- Empathetic, social, and relational in our thinking
- Softer appearance, enhanced by softer dress and hairstyles
- Intended to play a supportive role
- Spiritually supportive
- Dependent on him to perform jobs requiring his physical strength
- Dependent on his advice and opinion due to his leadership
- Submissive, humble
- Sweet, showing tender affection toward our husband
- Yielded and trusting in his strength
Learn to embrace your femininity as God-given and this will bring out your husband’s masculinity.
Pamela Parizo © 2017