He that worketh deceit shall not dwell within my house: he that telleth lies shall not tarry in my sight. Psalms 101:7
The Bible speaks repeatedly at the use of deceit and cunning. It is not a godly trait. God expects that men and women be honest with each other in their relationships and not manipulative. Romans 12:17 and 2 Corinthians 8:21 both say we are to provide what is honest in the sight of all men. Strong’s defines deceit as falseness or treachery while Genesius’ Lexicon defines it as fraud. When we are deceitful to others, we are being false with them.
God intends that we be honest in our dealings with one another, and this becomes especially true in our marriages. We are not to manipulate the other person or play games to attain something from them. This applies to both men and women. And our sexuality should never be withheld from the other to obtain something from them, used as a playing chip.
Many years ago I read a book called the Games People Play which essentially says that we internalize games we learn as children and mature. It’s part of a larger psychology framework called Transactional Analysis. One thing that I came away that I believe still would be applicable to our Christian relationships is that true intimacy is the absence of game-playing. How can you have a true and intimate relationship with someone you play manipulative games with? This becomes even worse if you are in a position of authority, in which you try to dominate the other person through manipulative games.
As Christians, we called to honesty, to be without falseness, fraudulent behavior (which is essentially lying) and to display agape love. As Christians we are to reflect Jesus Christ, who was without guile. There was nothing deceitful or manipulative in our Lord; neither should there be in those that profess they are His children.
Pamela Parizo © 2017