Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. 1 Corinthians 7:5
I was reading a blog yesterday, an obviously liberal Christian blog, discussing the issue of a wife whose husband would wake her up to enjoy intimacy with her. Not only that, but he would also deny her sex before work and then ask for it right before she was ready to leave. The responses given seemed out of line with what the Bible teaches and more in line with a more liberal line of thought.
In this day, we have gotten so far from what the Bible teaches on marital relations, and people fail to seek their answers from it. Paul in 1 Corinthians 7 discusses the importance of intimacy in a marriage: it prevents the couple from fornicating (illicit sex of all manner), it is an important reason to get married in order to keep them from it. It prevents temptations in the flesh.
It’s important also as wives (and husbands) that we recognize the needs of our spouses. This woman was told that her husband should not be enjoying her body while she is asleep. I believe the Bible is clear that 1)our bodies belong to our spouses and 2) we should recognize the needs our spouse and not withhold from them. While I agree a man should not objectify his wife, we consent to sex when we marry (except force, which I think is a different issue) and that for men, sex is a strong physical need, not just a want.
In the case of the man waking the wife up for sex, I believe she should have no problem with this, and should do everything she can to make it enjoyable. The husband though should recognize the practical realities of wanting sex right before his wife is to leave for work though, although the wife should try to accomodate him by being available that evening.
Given the directions of Paul, and the principles of agape love and one flesh, I believe men and women need to be available to their spouse, for the most part, at any time that their responsibilities toward God are not an issue, and when there is no physical illness. Marital love creates a bond that is important to the relationship and a lot of the contention in marriage in these times deals with withholding of sex. It should, rather, be treated as a gift from God to men and women to enjoy their spouses physically as well as in other aspects, and that love and affection for each other be expressed as much as possible.
Pamela Parizo © 2017